The Invocations of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Vaxidd
Summary: Koizumi's idea: If the difference between reality and fantasy is made more clear to Haruhi, she'll be less likely to use her powers. So the SOS Brigade will play a simple little game. Called Dungeons and Dragons. Kyon's peaceful day is pretty much dead.
1. Prologue

The Invocations of Haruhi Suzumiya

Note: Blah blah I don't own Haruhi or any associated works nor do I own AD&D. In the future when I achieve world domination, however, these and all things will be under my command. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Cough.

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Prologue:

The dullness of the world is something I cheerfully take for granted. I have to admit that a day in which nothing happens counts as a success in my books. Even so, such a day doesn't come around very often. You might say it has about the rarity of a total solar eclipse, and it lasts about as long, too. You see, every afternoon I take it upon myself to imperil my very sense of well-being. Yes, I refer to the SOS Brigade's clubroom.

Why I inflict such a dreadful suffering upon myself is too long a story, but I can tell you this much: Nothing imperils a peaceful day quite like when, bursting into the clubroom with a sanity-threatening smile, that girl enters the clubroom. Haruhi Suzumiya.

This day, however, I appear to be spared a fate worse than death. Our esteemed leader isn't here. The rest of my fellow sufferers looked up as I entered the room. Mikuru Asahina, that beautiful girl, who has been bullied so often that she wears a maid costume at all times in the clubroom now, smiled at me and offered me some fresh tea. I accepted gratefully.

_"The tea is one thing that I am definitely grateful to Haruhi for. How else would I be able to drink tea brewed by that angel in disguise?"_

In the corner, Yuki Nagato reads yet another book, but one that I didn't recognize. Like all the books she seems to read, it's thick and imposing, but she normally reads science fiction, not what looks like fantasy.

I sighed. _"Doesn't she experience enough of that already?!"_

The last of the club members, Itsuki Koizumi, looks at me with a smile as well, but his smile is so fake-looking it immediately puts me on my guard. Not that I include him in the list of fellow sufferers.

"Where's Haruhi this time?" I asked nonchalantly. _"Stop smiling before I start getting freaked out!"_

"I believe that Suzumiya-san is still at your house," he said while keeping the same smile on his face.

_"Defeated! Hold on..."_

"Why would she go all the way over there? She knows I won't be there right after school."

"True, but I don't believe she went there for that. But perhaps she can explain it to us in further detail," he announced as the door burst open.

I couldn't suspect him of using any mysterious esper powers on me. When Haruhi is excited about something, she runs to the clubroom, bowling over anyone in her way. You can hear her coming a mile off.

When I looked at Haruhi's grin, I figured my day was about to get worse. When I saw what she was holding, I was sure of it.

"Where did you get THOSE from?" I practically demanded. Never a wise move around Haruhi.

"Your mom just gave them to me. She said you never used them anymore."

_"I'll bet she told Mom that I needed them or something, the little liar._"

"It's time to announce the next SOS Brigade activity! Koizumi, it was your idea, so why don't you explain it?" Haruhi said loudly.

"Gladly. I believe such games are quite popular in America. They call them pencil-and-paper role playing games."

Not only could I tell that I was the only one surprised by this announcement, but I could feel the peaceful moment slipping away. Not like some soft hourglass where the sand slowly pours through, it reminded me a little of a giant ape falling off an incredibly tall building. I could only anticipate the painful landing.

* * *

PS: Comments are appreciated, whether suggestions to help me imitate Kyon's narration style more adequately or as to the identities of the main characters when they play AD&D. But I've decided on these things: Koizumi as DM, Nagato as a Wizard, and Asahina as a Cleric. I may also bring in side-characters if you like. Also note I'll be using 3rd Edition, not out of any deserved prejudices against 4th Ed, but because I don't want to shell out the money for the manuals.


	2. Chapter 1

Sorry for the time in between these, but brushing up on my D&D took time, not to mention exams. Hopefully the next update will come much more quickly. Also, I think I improved on my writing style this time. I'm trying to not destroy the world today, so let's repeat. This is a work of fiction, all relations to current people, events, etc. is completely coincidental... Also I do not own Haruhi.

Chapter 2:

After the horrifying announcement made by Koizumi, I quickly attempted to protest, but Haruhi shot my protests down with a glare.

"Um... how do you play this?" Asahina asked shyly.

"I believe each person makes their own character and follows an adventure that one person creates." explained Koizumi.

"As Brigade Captain, I'll be making this adventure!" declared Haruhi.

_"No way! I can just imagine her making some senseless campaign just like she did with the movie!"_

"Thank you, but creating this adventure will take a while. Wouldn't you rather play a character while I create it instead?"

"Oh yeah, good call. That's just what I expect from my subordinate!"

With that baffling exchange completed, we began to make characters. I had just chosen a name for my character when someone entered the clubroom.

"Hi, guys! ... Oh, you're playing that game, nyoro~n? Can I join in too?" asked the excitable Tsuruya-san.

"An excellent idea." Koizumi declared.

Meanwhile, I turned around to look at my character sheet and found Haruhi had grabbed it from behind my back.

"Hey, give that back!"

"What kind of name is this?! Kyon will do fine."

I sighed. _"So even in a game I can't escape that childish nickname?"_

Eventually each of us had created something resembling a character sheet. Nagato was the first to finish, writing on the sheets that Koizumi provided with amazing speed. Although she must have had alien inspiration from that Data Integration Thought Entity, where do aliens get the knowledge on how to play this game?

I finished some time after Nagato, since I had some knowledge of the game myself. After remembering what each class did, I wrote down 'Fighter'.

_"Huh. This game is coming back to me quicker than I thought. I guess I had never really forgotten it, although I dropped it so quickly when Sasaki learned that I played it…_"

It had been a hot day near the end of my last year in middle school. Sasaki, that girl that earned me my unappealing reputation, spoke to me as she did most days.

"So, Kyon, what are the activities that you are planning over the summer break?" she asked me.

I explained to her some of my activities. I finally reached playing fantasy games, and got a predictable reaction.

"You would play a fictional game?"

"Well, yeah… Those games are fun, aren't they?"

"A person's interests tell a lot about them. If you play such games in your spare time, you would have to be such a bored person to seek escape into a escapist world. The point of any of these activities is to allow a person to create a new life for himself that is more entertaining than his real life. If philosophers are correct and your perceptions influence reality, a person who makes a new world for himself is trying to reverse this idea and influence his perceptions with a new reality. I didn't think you were that sort of person."

"_I didn't catch most of that…"_ I thought at the time, but I recognized her tone of disapproval. I made some excuse that I was only thinking of starting the games that summer, and she seemed to believe me. After that, I stopped coming to the games with Taniguchi and Kunikida and all those others who I cannot remember right now.

While I was thinking about such nostalgic things, I realized that Tsuruya-san had also finished her character sheet. Haruhi was talking to Koizumi about something in the corner while he was leafing through one of my books, nodding in that annoyingly agreeable manner he has. Asahina-san was looking at her sheet in a panic that just made her look even cuter than she is normally in her maid's outfit. I walked over to look, and saw that she had covered her paper with erased spots, so that there was very little clean space on the sheet.

I helped Asahina-san decide on a class, suggesting the cleric as a more gentle option. When I asked her what weapon she would choose, though, she became nervous again.

"Ah- a weapon? I'm really not good at that kind of thing…" she said softly.

"_I understand what you mean, and you using a weapon is a laughable idea! But you need something, right?"_

We compromised on a quarterstaff, which I assured her was not normally used for fighting. I walked away quickly before the stunning image of Asahina-san in the miko costume she wore at the end of last summer appeared before me. Meanwhile, Haruhi appeared to have finished her sheet as well, so I walked over to look as Asahina-san attempted to understand the cleric spell list.

Looking at Haruhi's character sheet, I saw she had chosen some bizarre combination, and decided to wait for Koizumi after the SOS Brigade had been dismissed and ask him about it. I checked the time.

_"We spent __**that**__ long just making these sheets? Mom is going to kill me! And I have all this homework to do over the weekend!"_

Asahina-san was still working on her sheet, and Koizumi had a mass of papers in front of him trying to design a campaign that would placate our leader.

_"This could take another hour at least!"_

When I explained my concerns to Haruhi, she acted dismissive. "Kyon, you're not much of a Brigade member if you can't spend a lot of time here."

_"So I'm obligated to stay here for hours just on your whim?"_

"That's right. Oh, fine. You can all go home now. But make sure you're ready to stay until the end next time, or there'll be a penalty!"

Moments later, I asked Koizumi about Haruhi's strange choice while we were leaving the clubroom. "Hey, what's this? 0th level Rogue / 0th level Sorcerer?"

"Oh, yes. Suzumiya-san seemed to be having problems deciding between two classes. It seems as though a 1st level character can choose two classes at the same time and be apprentices at both at the same time. She seemed delighted to take the suggestion."

"All right, fine, but why are you doing this?"

"Well, that may take a while to explain. If you'll walk with me while we leave I can explain it to you."

So I followed him on the way out. "Don't stand so close to me."

He laughed in that irritating way and began to explain. "You see, it is a theory among some factions of our organization that Suzumiya-san's powers can be limited more easily if she is permitted minor uses of her power. Of course, as you well know from the movie incident, she often makes minor things happen on her own whim, though sometimes they can become dangerous."

"However, preventing her from using her power may cause a dangerous build-up of energies. We believe that the chances of her discovering the exact nature of her powers becomes greater if she has more of an urge to use them."

"You know how I feel about that. You espers should just tell Haruhi what her powers are." I said.

"Maybe so. But this kind of game where Suzumiya-san plays as a character in a fantasy universe is likely to cause her to more readily recognize the difference between reality and fiction."

"But in the movie she only got worse!"

"That is true, but Suzumiya-san's powers aren't always simple. During that movie she was not a character. The reason Asahina-san obtained such a power then was because of Suzumiya-san's role as director. Her feeling that she was an observer and creator of the situation was what allowed her powers to become manifest. As a participant in this game Suzumiya-san will not see the need to manipulate reality. At least, that's what we espers hope. And this will weaken her responses so that she will never realize the power she possesses. Then she can live a calm, peaceful life."

_"Is this what I would want? To have powers and never know about them, letting my friends put themselves in danger to protect me, and to trade an exciting life for a predictable one?"_

"Well, that's all of it. I hope you will consider my position more in the future." Koizumi said, leaving.

I walked home, awaiting some kind of punishment but more dreading the ordeal of the next SOS Brigade meeting. Ordinarily I would savor the weekend, but Haruhi wanted a special meeting tomorrow to start playing the game.

_"Sigh... I never get a break."_

First off, feel free to comment on any of this or make suggestions. Now, for the side material. Another major part of this chapter is each player's character sheet. Note that stats such as personality, appearance, age, height, and so forth are identical to the actual person's. Also note that all stats were randomly generated using 6 rolls of 4d6, discarding the lowest, and assigning the sums among each stat by choice.

Name: Kyon

Race: Human

Alignment: Neutral Good

Class / Level: 1st Level Fighter

Strength: 17 +3

Dexterity: 14 +2

Constitution 16 +3

Intelligence 11 +0

Wisdom 11 +0

Charisma 11 +0

HP: 9 = 6 + 3

Total Base Stat Feat

Attack Bonus: +4 = +1 + +3 + +0

Fort Save: +5 = +2 + +3 + +0

Reflex Save: +2 = +0 + +2 + +0

Will Save: +2 = +0 + +0 + +2

Skills:

Jump: 4

Climb: 4

Ride (Horse): 4

Feats:

All Armor Proficiencies, Martial Weapon Proficiency, Simple Weapon Proficiency, Shield Proficiency, Power Attack, Cleave, Iron Will

Equipment:

Weapons: Halberd Damage 1d10 Crit: 20/x3 Weight: 15lb Size: Large Type: Piercing/Slashing

Armor: Scale Mail: AC: +4 Max Dex: +3 Armor Check Penalty: -4 Spell Failure: 25% Weight: 30lbs Size: Medium

Equipment: Silver Dagger, Sunrod, Silk Rope, 10gp

Speed 20ft

Name: Mikuru Asahina

Race: Human

Alignment: Lawful Good

Class / Level: 1st Level Cleric

Strength 13 +1

Dexterity 11 +0

Constitution 14 +2

Intelligence 11 +0

Wisdom 15 +2

Charisma 14 +2

HP: 9 = 7 + 2

Total Base Stat Feat

Attack Bonus: +1 = +0 + +1 + +0

Fort Save: +4 = +2 + +2 + +0

Ref Save: +0 = +0 + +0 + +0

Will Save: +4 = +2 + +2 + +0

Domains: Good, Law

Skills:

Heal: 4

Spot: 2

Concentration: 4

Feats: Simple Weapon Proficiency, Shield Proficiency, All Armor Proficiencies, Improved Initiative, Combat Casting

Spells Per Day: 0: 3 1: 3 2: 1

Equipment:

One Hand: Quarterstaff Damage: 1d6/1d6 Crit: 20/x2 Weight: 4lb Size: Large Type: Bludgeoning

Other: Buckler AC: +1 Armor Check: -1 Spell Failure: 5% Weight: 5lb

Armor: Leather Armor AC: +2 Max Dex: +6 Armor Check: 0 Spell Failure: 10% Weight: 15lb Type: Light Armor

Gear: Vial of Holy Water, Silver Holy Symbol, Small Steel Mirror, 10gp

Spd 30 ft

Name: Nagato Yuki

Race: Human

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Class / Level: 1st Level Wizard

Strength: 10 +0

Dexterity: 15 +2

Constitution: 12 +1

Intelligence; 16 +3

Wisdom: 10 +0

Charisma: 11 +0

HP: 3 = 2 + 1

Total Base Stat Feat

Attack Bonus: +0 = +0 + +0 + +0

Fort Save: +1 = +0 + +1 + +0

Ref Save: +2 = +0 + +2 + +0

Will Save: +2 = +2 + +0 + +0

Specialized School: Conjuration

Prohibited School: Transmutation

Skills:

Concentration: 4

Spellcraft: 4

Spot: 2

Search: 2

Alchemy: 4

Forgery: 1

Appraise: 1

Feats: Spell Focus(Evocation), Combat Casting

Spells Per Day: 0: 3 1: 2 2: 1 3: 1 Conjuration: 1

Spellbook: All 0th Level Spells, Summon Monster I, Comprehend Languages, Sleep, Magic Missile, Mage Armor, Shield

Equipment:

Weapon: Quarterstaff (See Mikuru Asahina)

Equipment: Spellbook, Component Pouch, 5 Pieces of Parchment, Vial of Ink, Inkpen, Backpack, Waterskin, 2 Days Ration, 2 Vial of Alchemist's Fire, Vial of Acid, 7gp

Spd 30ft

Familiar: Cat (Night-Vision, +2 Move Silently)

HP: 1

Name: Tsuruya

Race; Human

Alignment: Neutral Good

Class / Level: 1st Level Druid

Strength: 13 +1

Dexterity: 13 +1

Constitution: 13 +1

Intelligence: 10 +0

Wisdom: 17 +3

Charisma: 8 -1

HP: 7 = 6 + 1

Total Base Stat Feat

Attack Bonus: +1 = +0 + +1 + +0

Fort Save: +3 = +2 + +1 + +0

Ref Save: +1 = +0 + +1 + +0

Will Save: +5 = +2 + +3 + +0

Skills:

Animal Empathy: 4

Concentration: 4

Handle Animal: 4

Heal: 4

Wilderness Lore: 4

Feats: Light/Medium Armor Proficiency, Shield Proficiency, Track, Dodge

Spells Per Day: 0: 3 1: 2 2: 1 3: 1

Equipment:

Weapon: Scimitar Damage: 1d6 Crit: 18-20/x2 Weight: 4lb Size: Medium Type: Slashing

Armor: Hide AC: +3 Max Dex: +4 Armor Check: -3 Spell Failure: 20% Size: Medium Armor Weight: 25lb

Other Hand: Large Wooden Shield AC: +2 Armor Check: -2 Spell Failure: 15% Weight: 10lb

Equipment: Holly + Mistletoe, 5gp

Spd 20 ft

Animal Companion: None yet.

Name: Haruhi Suzumiya

Race: Human

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Class / Level: 0th Level Rogue/ / 0th Level Sorceror

Strength: 15 +2

Dexterity: 16 +3

Constitution 14 +2

Intelligence 16 +3

Wisdom 5 -3

Charisma 8 -1

HP: 5 = 3 + 2

Total Base Stat Feat

Attack Bonus: +2 = +0 + +2 + +0

Fort Save: +2 = +0 + +2 + +0

Ref Save: +6 = +1 + +3 + +2

Will Save: -1 = +1 + -3 + +2

Skills:

Use Magic Device: 4

Spot: 4

Search: 4

Sense Motive: 4

Open Lock: 4

Appraise: 4

Balance: 4

Bluff: 4

Climb: 4

Decipher Script: 4

Disable Device: 4

Read Lips: 4

Feats: Light Armor Proficiency, Combat Reflexes, Iron Will

Spells Per Day: 0: 4 1: 3 2: 1 3: 1

Known Spells: Ray of Frost, Mage Hand, Disrupt Undead, Daze, Shocking Grasp, True Strike

Equipment:

Weapon: Rapier Damage: 1d6 Crit: 18-20/x2 Weight: 3lb Size: Medium Type: Piercing

In Pack: Light Crossbow Damage: 1d8 Crit: 19-20/x2 Range: 80ft Weight: 6lb Size: Small Type: Piercing

Equipment: Thieves' Tool, 6-Days Rations, Signet Ring (SOS Brigade Logo), 20gp

Spd 30ft


End file.
